i didn't even know what misery i was living in-literally- what was causing it only barely conscious that i was waiting for someone to come along and take me out of it until he dumped his ipod into my itunes and it was so clear to me in that killers song i always loved that i really was "waiting on some beautiful boy to save (me) from (my) own" ways/fate/whatever/anything/everything. i thought this boy would do that, could do that, and then circumstances presented themselves so that i had to SAVE MYSELF. how many years ago i sat at the rosebud's bar reaching my hand skyward, waiting to be called on until my sweet handsome bartender looked up and i said: SAVE ME! and he said: save yourself! and i thought "i'm not drowning, i'm waving" and years and years and years and years later, it's still sooooooooooo like me to say i'm waving or really to actually BE WAVING as i drown like the titanic, UNRAISABLE! i can't let anyone save me, love me, fill in the ____________ me. i can only have me and then some.